You may have heard that words of encouragement are a kind of love language.
They say there are five love languages, but perhaps there’s a sixth.
Going to British-style afternoon tea has taught me that maintaining silence, too, can be a potent way of showing you care.
When I lived in New York City, I had a friend whose birthday fell within two days of mine, and going to tea made us both unreasonably happy.
So we made it our custom to celebrate our birthdays together on the day in between at the Astor Court. This dining room at the St. Regis Hotel was a favorite because it felt elegant and easy.
The quiet piano playing in the background was the ideal accompaniment for getting to know each other better.
We enjoyed our sweets, scones, and tiny sandwiches, trying new teas, and gathering just the two of us.
Gleefully, we savored each of our pretty finger foods and the generous time it took to eat them.
And for two happy hours, we shared dreams and disappointments, laughter and sighs nonstop, and kept the waitstaff busy topping off our teapots: Earl Grey for me and white rose for her.
Then came the year things were different.
I had traveled to the tea by express bus from my Staten Island home, an easy and restful trip where I read or looked out the window at the passing city streets.
But Vanessa, who lived in New Jersey, had driven her car and fought traffic.
Of course, she had to park the thing, and her usual garage was full up, so she ended up having to park six blocks further away.
Given that she had worn a new set of heels in honor of the occasion, she was not a happy woman.
Sitting across from me for less than five minutes, she had already updated me on the latest nonsense her husband had committed to drive her up the wall.
I didn’t know what to say, so as soon as our server walked away with our tea orders, I prayed aloud for the meal ahead of us.
A bit longer than necessary, maybe. Yes, I admit it. I was stalling.
And then I continued praying silently for my friend’s anger and anxiety. And my mouth.
“Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.”
—Psalm 46:10 NLT
That afternoon, our ritual of afternoon tea made possible the transformation that comes only with quiet, good food and drink, and time unhurried.
She mostly talked, and I mostly listened. When silence came on both ends of our conversation, we embraced it.
Though there were moments when I wanted to soothe her and “say the right thing,” I kept my mouth shut.
Not rushing in to fill the empty space with my words, but letting God fill it with His Presence.
And, sometime after slathering dollops of clotted cream and jam on a second scone, Vanessa smiled.
So we stayed longer, enjoying another precious hour of our annual celebration. We ended our tea better friends than ever, and Vanessa returned home encouraged.
More by what I didn’t say than by what I said.
We all need encouragement. And words can help, but they’re not required.
So consider, this very week, offering a sincere smile or a simple gift.
Or a cup of tea☕️ with a listening ear.
🎵TUNES AROUND THE WORLD
MUSIC OF STILL QUIET JOY
LISTEN TO:
“Cavatina” by Australian-born classical guitarist John Williams. This achingly beautiful instrumental became the soundtrack for the Oscar-winning movie The Deer Hunter.
Cavatina is an Italian word meaning “a short, simple song.” You usually find it in operas.
“Tenderly” by English pop and jazz singer Cleo Laine, known for her remarkable vocal range. As the song’s title denotes, Laine delivers it with a velvety warmth that covers you like a favorite blanket.
“Sunrise” by American singer-songwriter Norah Jones. Listen closely to this easy-going tune, and you’ll hear her love for Southern jazz and country, a gift from her early years in Texas.
“Put Your Records On” by English singer-songwriter Corinne Bailey Rae. This sunny tune encourages you to relax, enjoy what you’ve got, and literally “let your hair down.”
“He Was Beautiful” is another by England’s Cleo Laine. This is the first version of “Cavatina,” mentioned above, with lyrics. Laine, who John Williams accompanies on the guitar, wrote them herself and sings them with depth and elegance.
“Summertime” by American opera singer Leontyne Price. Price’s rendering of this widely-known showstopping tune from George Gershwin’s folk opera Porgy and Bess is, in a word, gorgeous.
FUN FACT: Many describe Corinne Bailey Rae’s “Put Your Records On” as a “musical hug.” A trip to Paris, where she felt surrounded by creativity, inspired her to write it.
🎙️Listen in here: Spotify.
💡QUOTES FOR CREATIVES BY CREATIVES
THE SACREDNESS OF PRESENCE
PHOTO
These quotes from British creatives invite us to pause, be present, and remind us that joy is not a luxury. It’s a calling that’s vital to experience life’s fullness.
“It’s not about keeping busy. It’s about being in the moment. That’s where the beauty is.”—actress Tilda Swinton
“If I ever had any advice to give… it’s take your time.”—actress Emma Thompson
“Joy is the serious business of heaven.”—writer, theologian, and scholar C.S. Lewis
🎬MOVIE NIGHT AROUND THE WORLD
HISTORICAL ROMANCE & A CUPPA TEA
ENGLAND WITH TEACUP
If you haven’t read Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice, you’ve likely heard it glows with wit, wisdom, and romance. Well, it’s true, and this 2005 film adaptation feels just as engaging and vivid.
With sweeping visuals and a dreamy score, this historical romance captures early 19th-century England beautifully.
Keira Knightley’s Elizabeth Bennet is radiant—clever, kind, somewhat proud, and someone you want to cheer on.
Her Darcy (Matthew MacFadyen) is serious and brooding, and their chemistry simmers from the first glare to the final, tearful confession.
The supporting cast—Donald Sutherland, Judi Dench, and Brenda Blethyn—brings warmth, wit, and sharp humor.
You may sense you’re watching a portrait of two hearts learning to see clearly.
One moment you’re swept into a candlelit ball; the next, standing in the rain, heart thundering, as two souls find the courage to speak the truth.
By the time Elizabeth and Darcy finally understand and choose each other, perhaps you’ll be smiling through tears as I was.
Their story reflects the wisdom of slowing down to perceive what’s happening and trusting God’s timing instead of rushing to conclusions based on sketchy first impressions.
RECOMMENDATION: Here’s a lovely Daily Darjeeling—an excellent black tea—to watch this movie with!
Seriously, Pride and Prejudice, is a sparkling read! So, if you’re keen to read it now and your local library doesn’t hold a copy, no worries. You can read the book online here.)
How Austen manages to convey so much of the characters’ personalities through their conversation alone amazes me.
Maybe you’ll feel the same.
Enjoy your week!
GET THE MUSELETTER DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX.
